I’m with stupid <—

Bakit ganon? Nakakainis. Ako na lang ng ako ang habol ng habol. Ako nalang ng ako yung may gusto makasama siya. Feeling ko tuloy mas mahal ko siya kesa sa mahal niya ko. I hate it!

Ayoko ng ganito. Gusto ko syempre, as a girl, ako ang mas minamahal. Ewan ko ba. Lagi ko nalang nafifeel to sa kanya. Katulad ngayong week na to, 5 days free yung house, I hinted na matulog sya dito, pero sabi nya 1 day lang daw siya pwede. Wtf dba?! Any guy you propose that to would jump to the idea. Pero siya, hindi. Kesyo daw kasi hahanapin siya sa bahay, at ano daw ang sasabihin niya pag tinanong siya. Hello?!? Ang dami daming pwede idahilan. Ang sabihin mo ayaw mo lang. I just don’t understand. I really don’t. I’m hurt, ‘coz I feel like I’m always available for him. Tapos siya, parang siya yung laging tumatanggi. I am sure he has no one on the side. I trust him, and I KNOW walang iba. It just pisses me off when he does this to me. Yung tipong magyayaya ako ng biglaan, yung day na wala kaming naka set na lakad, tapos aayaw siya kasi tinatamad or what not. Hindi ko ma-explain eh. I really don’t understand. I know he loves me, but I feel he loves me not as much as I love him, and it hurts me to feel that. Whenever I get pissed like this, I promise myself na hindi na ako magiging ganito, na gugustuhin siyang makita lagi, makasama lagi, magyayaya lagi. Pero pag lumipas na yung galit ko sa kanya, I just return to normal. Nagiging sobrang lambing ko nanaman, gusto ko nanaman siya laging kasama. In short, habol na naman ako ng habol. I fucking hate it. I want to change. I want to NOT be available for him naman. Gusto ko naman matuto tumanggi sakanya, para ma-feel niya yung nafi-feel ko. Pero everytime, I lose to what I feel. I revert back to how I usually am. Haaay. Now, I don’t know what to do. Parang nakakapagod tanggihan ka madalas. I don’t want to promise myself na magbabago na ko, na naman. Kasi, I honestly don’t know if I would be able to keep it. Maiinis lang ako sa sarili ko. But I’m going to try harder. I told him, kahit isang araw, wag na siya matulog dito. Ok lang sakin. I have already set my mind that I’m going to be alone the next 5 days. Ayoko na mag habol, I’m so tired and I feel so stupid. Ganito ba talaga pag nagmamahal ka? Nagmumukha kang tanga? Fuck, then I hate love. \m/

Gaya-Gayang Pinoy

Shet!

Bakit ganun noh?

Ang galing gumaya ng mga pilipino. I can’t understand why. I’ll give you some examples ha.

Filipino Version: — American Version:

Singing Bee by ABS CBN — Don’t Forget the Lyrics by FOX

Philippine Idol by ABC 5/Pinoy Idol by GMA 7 — American Idol by FOX

Kakasa ka ba sa Grade 5? by GMA 7 — Are you smarter than a 5th Grader? by FOX

Pinoy Big Brother by ABS CBN — Big Brother by CBS

Survivor Philippines by GMA 7— Survivor by CBS

These are just some of the many shows na ginaya na ng networks dito. I understand, na kung ano ung mabenta sa masa, doon sila. But It’s just sad that we have to imitate other people’s creativity. Movies are very much imitated as well. I think filipinos are very talented. We can sing, act, dance, and make it into the international scene, pero bakit ganon, we seldom have original storylines, plots, show themes, etc. I think mas mapapansin tayo ng ibang mga bansa kung marami tayong tunay na gawa, don’t you agree? For example, the movie “The Ring” that originally came from Japan, I was so scared to sleep after watching this film. Original yung storya niya, kaya ayun, ginawan na ng remake ng Hollywood hindi ba? After that, came “The Eye”, another asian horror flick, also an original and was made into a remake by Hollywood film makers as well. Galing noh? Kailan kaya tayo magkakaroon ng ganoon kagaling na movie para ma-remake din nila? This is the reason why I don’t really watch tagalog films. I am not against it or anything, but I just feel like most of our films are cliche and very predictable. Our “tele-seryes” are almost all the same in nature, where the bida is most of the time poor tapos inaapi ng mayaman. I am not an expert here, these are just my views on the subject. Feeling ko kasi napaka-gaya gaya natin. We don’t have as much originality when it comes to films and TV shows. It’s like we always base our thinking on what hollywood has done and what they already made famous. Ang fanget. I hope future film makers, writers and producers get the idea that we should think freely. Mag isip tayo ng mga panibagong ideas na pwede talaga nating angkinin. I am not generalizing na lahat ng pelikula natin dito eh ginaya. “Feng Shui” with Kris Aquino, is a good movie. I was able to watch it and I thought it was good. An original story with original twists. Actually, that was the first filipino movie I appreciated. Although I am not a big fan of Kris Aquino, pero the film was quite good. I begin wondering tuloy kung bakit ganito. Maybe it’s because of our “American Superiority Complex”, where we think that everything American is superior/of high nature than everything or anyone else. We Filipinos do have this issue. Kaya tayo nagiging gaya-gaya eh. We can change this, ang kaso eh, alam ba ng mga tao na nagiging gaya-gaya tayo? At gusto ba nilang magbago?